The safe sex paradox

One morning, two buddies are catching up on each’s activities from the previous night. One asks the other, “So, that blonde from last night, did you bang her?” “Yup”, the other replies. Again he asks, “Did you have safe sex?”. The other replies, “Yup, I hid my watch and wallet.”

The idea of safe sex is a farce. There is no such thing. The only safe sex out there is with your hand. While there are ways to reduce the chance of disease or pregnancy, there is no fool proof way to avoid either.

Condoms are designed for catching sperm. That’s it. I know a lot of you guys out there believe it will prevent you from catching a STI, but it’s been shown to be ineffective. It can provide a barrier to make it harder for virus or bacteria to pass from one person to the next but latex is a porous material that has microscopic holes that can allow matter to pass through. *( there have been tests that showed the size and width of viral matter, measured in microns, were far smaller than the size and width of the microscopic holes found in condoms, measured in microns. A little like a ping pong ball going thru a basketball hoop.)

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If you are having regular sex with one or more persons, you are on the playing field where you will contract an STI. As in football, once you are on the field, you can suffer a number of injures ranging from muscular tears to joint injuries, broken legs and arms, dislocated shoulders and fingers to concussions and spinal injury.

In the game of sex, you can also suffer from chlymedia, syphilis, gonorrhea, warts, shingles, herpes, hepatitis, molluscum, HIV and HPV.

There is no fool proof way to avoid these things happening if you are swinging dick around. The one night stands, the blowjobs behind restaurants from waitresses off the clock, the strippers in some small town titty joint, the traveling student in Prague, the attorney I met at a posh whisky bar, the receptionist at the plastic surgeon’s office, the cute waxing technician that came over after my third appointment for a back wax, the tiny Reese Witherspoon look alike whom my friend brought over for tequila shots, the ice skater I nailed after seeing an ice show on tour, the dancer in a country western show at a Vegas hotel, the Floridian blonde another friend told me to meet up for drinks one night she was in town, etc, etc, the list goes on. These were moments that just happened. I went with the flow. Tension was high, chemicals were flowing through our blood, endorphins surging- the animal attraction was at it’s all time peak. These were instances that caution was thrown to the wind, so to speak, and sex was had. Blow jobs were given, pussy was eaten and pounded and ass was fucked. Condoms weren’t used. Tests were not shown. We just fucked. A pregnancy here, chlymedia there, warts over there; all in all, we came out rather unscathed. Shots were given, pills downed, shit burned off and a vacuum got the rest.

But there is always THE thought.  Will I catch X?

If your fucking, you should be prepared for the results. Whether you use condoms are not, there may be repercussions.

Now, everyone is aware of HIV. If you are a straight man engaging in sex, odds are you don’t have to worry about that. Lets me rephrase that; probability is extremely low. Unless you are hanging out in a whorehouse in Haiti or Africa, don’t worry so much about it. If you like low value targets, you may be setting yourself up for a surprise you won’t like.

The fact is that the largest group of people in the U.S. at risk for HIV are young gay men- white, black or brown. Are you sharing needles? Do you make it a point to fuck a chick in the ass every time you fuck? Are you snorting coke through the same straw with some lowlifes you don’t know ? If not, then chances are you don’t have to worry about it.

Now, the rest ( except for Hep and HPV) can be cured or treated with medicine. Herpes outbreaks can be treated with Valtrex or essential oils.  A shot, a pill, some cream; whatever. It’s cured. Lesson learned. Hep C is serious. You will die from it. It is not known what HPV can do to men. In men, there are no symptoms and known health problems. In women, it’s another thing.

Get educated about these diseases. Learn to recognize symptoms, either with you or her. Get STD tested every 28-30 days. If you don’t want kids, consider getting snipped.

Other things you should do:

Finger check. This isn’t so much to see if she has something, but if she does it can manifest itself with an odor. PH balance, yeast infections and gonorrhea can be detected from smell.

Wash your vegetables. If you meet a chick while on the move, get into a shower and wash each other. Have fun with it, play around. Get a little shower fuck in after and then move to the bed.

Wash your junk and piss as soon as your done with sex. Getting secretions off you and clearing your urethra will help minimize risk, if there is one.

Don’t eat pussy and ass on the first fuck. This is a hard one especially because I love tossing that shit up but keep it for the next round.

Be open about it. People feel like they can’t bring it up. Ask, “Hey, is there anything I should know that would make me need to see a doctor after this?” Say it with humor. If there is something, that may be enough to halt it before it gets out of hand. But, sex being sex, it could not do a thing to stop the inevitable.

If wearing condoms make you feel peace of mind, then find a brand you really like and stick with them. Also, learn to properly put it on. Put a little drop of lube in the tip before putting it on and it should help immensely with the pleasure.

Hygiene. Wash your hands before fucking, trim and clean your nails before anything is set to happen, brush and floss your pie hole and keep body hair to an acceptable looking trim cut.

Keep your alcohol usage to minimums. Sip your drinks and roll slow. Watch her relationship with drinking. One drink an hour for you. Two drinks for her should be plenty for her to feel comfortable and to let her hair down.

Lastly, instinct. Use it. If something doesn’t feel right, take a raincheck. Or just be cool and say ” Let’s slow down.” She may get pissy but if she’s into you and you were cool with her, she should stick around til you can figure out your course of action the next time.

It can be a fun world out there but you have to be smart about it. Not every opportunity means you should act on it. Sometimes, it’s better to not act and be secure in the feeling that you had it and let it go on its merry way.

A bit like sport fishing. Catch and release.

4 comments on “The safe sex paradox

  1. Pingback: Summer of 2013 Fucking The Pirate; Sex Greatest Hits | Sugarmytips

  2. Which is why we ride our motorbikes without wearing a helment. Doesn’t actually make you safe, just safer. This is also why it’s pointless not to hold skyrockets in your hand when you light them.
    PS: your info about the size of viruses is from the Roman Catholic church. Condoms are not one atomic layer thick.

    • Thanks Paul.I missed that reference. On this subject, there was a report that could be found at that had the actual results in findings of viral particles passing through latex but it is now “missing”. In fact, there has been some serious scrubbing on the net to get rid of any links or sites that counter the notion of condoms as an effective barrier against disease transmission. Picture, condom and then HAZMAT suit. There is a huge difference and people think this is effective? I say use common sense.
      Thanks for contributing.

      • Yeah – condoms are way tougher and don’t have holes for breathing tubes. Fill one up with water sometime – they hold an astonishing amount. If the “holes” in a condom allowed vial particles through, they wouldn’t be watertight. But the are.

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