My second night in Bangkok had me and my friend “Woodman” walking in to our mutual friend’s bar The Dollhouse on Soi Cowboy for a night of fun. Woodman has been a friend and mentor of sorts to me in the last 15 years mainly due to his 3 marriages, his penchant for collecting and bedding beautiful and fucked up women and his unusual capacity to break down human behavioral tendencies and find out why some people do the things they do.
As we settled at the bar for our bottle of Don Julio tequila to be poured throughout the night, I reveled in the fact that the cutest and sweetest Thai bar girls were within an arms reach of me and that I would end up having a great night of fun. But a certain guy had gravitated into Woodman’s orbit and, Woodman being the guy he is, sat there and casually chatted him through a couple hours as we flirted and drank shots with 4 foot nothing cuties. This guy had been focusing on one particular girl throughout the night and after various attempts to close her for the night, watched her leave with another guy, lamenting, “I don’t understand why she left with him and wouldn’t leave with me.”
My friend Woodman peels his face off a nubile fuck kitten and looks him the eyes while shrugging, “It’s not your turn.” The guy returns his gaze with a confused expression, “What do you mean ‘it’s not my turn’? I was willing to pay the bar fine.” Woodman replies, “Doesn’t matter my friend. If she wanted you tonight, she would have let you take her out of here. But she decided it wasn’t your turn.”
I don’t know if this guy ever understood what Woodman was giving him; a piece of wisdom that would save him a lot of agony in the future. But the reason I’m sharing this with you is so that you can avoid the ‘agony’ that comes when your efforts appear to be not getting you what you want.
There is a saying, “No one knows what is in the heart of a woman.” That is based upon thousands of years of men trying to understand the creature that carries the XX chromosome. Case in point, years ago I whispered into the ear of a female colleague how I wanted to tie her hands up, piss in her mouth and watch her blow two guys while squatting in a dress with no panties between two parked cars. Five days later she was at my apartment wrapped feet to neck in siran wrap, getting flogged by yours truly. This was the beginning of a two month BDSM affair that would make Shades of Gray look like an episode of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I don’t even know why I said what I said, ( I do that often it seems) and I had no clue she would respond the way she did. Her BF (at the time) found out later and still despises me to this day.
What is important to remember is that in this fast moving Western society, women today have hundreds of distractions, endless media telling them how beautiful and unique they are, that they can have everything they desire without doing hard work and their own bad mental programming from their own parents and society swirling around in their head like the washing machine they like to get fucked on but never actually learn how to operate. But somehow something will click in her mind and she makes the decision to let you pummel any wet orifice she has so she can feel that wash of euphoria that leaves them high and and walking into work with sore labia the next day.
(It’s been said that the orgasm is a sensation similar to dying. The French even refer to it as “la petite mort”. So in essence, the woman has decided that she is willing to have you “kill her”, metaphorically speaking. I find that interesting….)
I know some guys get hung up on the women that FTL (fail to launch) from their game but knowing now what we know, it shouldn’t be surprising that this will inevitably happen. Twenty years ago all we had to contend with was radio, 5 or 6 TV networks and very limited programming and the answering machine as distractions. I definitely feel that I got more of my share of ‘turns’ back then compared to now. But today there is so much more resistance. You can’t look at it as a failure on your part if you really played your part correctly. In the end, these feral women don’t even understand why they do they things they do!
And make no mistake about it. You cannot have mini relationships with women without some emotional attachment. It is one of the things that make us different from other creatures. You can’t have fire without water, thus you can’t have sex without some emotional currency being exchanged. If you think you can go through life without feeling pain, loss, bewilderment and sorrow, you don’t know what being human is. At the same time though, our egos/mind like to tell stories to ourselves about what actually happened. It will imagine a myriad of fantasies of why something didn’t go the way we thought it would. That will further enhance whatever pain you feel. You can give yourself a break in knowing that if a woman does not respond to you, it may have been as simple as the fact that it wasn’t your turn.
Remember, “For every hot chick out there, there is a guy that is tired of fucking her.”
Be cool, be flexible and wait for your turn.