So, you’ve hit the dating scene and you’re pretty sure you’ve found a girl that you want to continue seeing. While you’re getting to know her there are five tests you should keep in mind before you fall head over heels for the girl.
I wish I could take credit for this but a long time friend of mind actually brought this to my attention a couple months ago as we were drinking tequila and discussing my latest breakup. He’s had his share of tail and along with that a few long time relationships. He urged me to not get hung up on the past but offered some good advice for the future when I find myself in a situation where I may find a new girl to date seriously.
How does she exhibit jealousy? Does she get jealous when you make time for your friends or coworkers? Does she get jealous when other women engage you or you engage with other women in a platonic manner? Does she get jealous if you have some personal victories or maybe when you may be out with her and you may invariably become the center of attention in a conversation? Is she jealous of other peoples success or good fortune? Even of people she doesn’t know?
When she gets angry, is it an irrational anger? What does she get angry about and for how long? If you forgot to buy her flowers on your anniversary even though you had been thinking it about the whole day but simply had something take your focus momentarily, does she stew about for a week? Or does she get over it, express her disappointment and move on? Does she have road rage? Is she constantly angry at her parents? Does she get angry with her friends and drop her friends only to get back together with them months later? Does she get angry over things she cannot control, like bad traffic, cable companies who don’t do shit for you or airlines that fuck things up?
Does she mention things that have gone wrong and act like it’s a financial disaster? Does she expect you to be a white knight and buy her a new washing machine or fix something in her place that has been broken for weeks? Does her car have damage from an accident months ago she hasn’t gotten repaired? What is the state of her apartment or house? Are her nails chipped or faded or are her shoe heels all chewed up and scuffed?
How does she act when she’s had a bit too much to drink? Does she become suddenly slutty, belligerent, venomous, sloppy or out of it? Does she lose all her feminine qualities and act like one of the guys? Does she stop drinking when she’s aware she’s tipsy? Does she drink every day? Can she go a week or two without having to drink any alcohol including wine?
- Unaccounted time
Does she ‘ghost’ on you for blocks of hours or even days? Does she not reply to your text or calls but has been active on her social media? Does she spend many nights staying over at her ‘friends’ house? When you do ask her what or where she spent her time does she give you a boring “oh nothing” story or fill in a story with lots of details about how funny some incident was with her and her girlfriends? Do her stories always paint her as a ‘saint’ and are entirely devoid of any attempted sexual advances from other men who might have been in the social environment?
These are just some things to ask yourself as you move further along in the dating game with a girl you like. Just observe her in different scenarios and be mindful that if it seems like it’s getting serious, you have definite answers to these questions so you don’t get hammered later if it falls apart and you’re left thinking, “But why??”
These aren’t necessarily ‘breaking it off’ points but they will give you an insight into whom you’re getting involved with.