112 Weddings- A lesson in the paradigm of marriage

I watched a documentary film the other night entitled “112 Weddings”. I was interested in what this wedding photographer of 20 years had observed from the couples when they married and now as he went back to interview selected couples about their experiences. It’s actually interesting to watch and I recommend that you see it.

I will list some observations from what I watched-

The director never asked the couples about the financial strain the weddings put on them. As money problems are practically listed as one of the major influences in divorce, I was disappointed he didn’t bring this up.

The women were pretty much all attractive when they married but had all gained weight and seemed to care less about their appearances as they aged. The only one I found still attractive and slender was a Korean woman who was a cellist.

Many couples had blank expressions on their faces when asked questions regarding their relationship. The first couple shown actually talks over each other without any regard for what the other is saying.

Sick children put a heavy burden on the marriages.

One woman was battling extreme depression and had pretty much pulled away from being an engaged parent, leaving the husband to do most of the work. She had battled it before she married but seemed to keep that secret from her husband.

One husband pointed out that in his research of the marriage license, he found that it only really addressed ownership, right of lineage, and property rights. He didn’t feel that the institution was anything but a financial construct.

You can tell many on both sides had given in on things that would have made them happy yet all trumpeted how important it was to be flexible and give concessions to the other.

Most of the women gave up their careers to raise children and relied on the man to bring in the income.

Some couples admitted to staying together only for the sake of wanting the children to have two parents.

Not one of the couples seemed to be “in love” as intensely as the time of their wedding.

 

If you’ve seen this film, what are your takeaways from this? I’m curious to know if it changes your mind about marriage or not.

 

 

 

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